Thanksgiving is that special time of year where families across the country (who can never agree on anything) try to decide what should go on the table for the most important meal of the year. Oh yeah, and there’s probably only one oven.
Come dinner time, it’s a seismic shift of starches, sauces and stuffing as plates get loaded up so heavy that they teeter on tectonic. It’s a beautiful epicurean earthquake as dishes are dangled and silverware is slung, looking for the best sides at the table.
What’s the best side at the table? One school of thought believes that the true beauty of Thanksgiving is that different people loving different sides creates a wonderful meal that everyone loves. It makes makes up the spirit of togetherness that the holiday represents. The other school of thought is that everyone else is wrong and my list of foods is correct.
This article is about the second thing. Let’s rank some foods:
(A few notes: Yes, I have ranked Thanksgiving foods before. Yes, these are different from past ones because I forgot what I wrote last time. I refuse to check until the list is done. Yes, this list is scientific. You simply can’t fully comprehend my methods.)
Thanksgiving Foods, Ranked Best to Worst (2021 Edition)
1. Stuffing – I’ve long been on the record that my preferred serving size of stuffing